A Toxic Relationship with Alcohol
It’s typically a very shameful thing to be addicted to a substance or activity in our culture, but although it’s to be avoided, it doesn’t have to be as stigmatized as it is. In an effort to shine some light on this topic, I’m going to write about my issues with alcohol. Although it’s been a long battle, I’m excited to report that I haven’t had a drink for two weeks now.
It wasn’t easy to get to this point, I’ve quit several times before, only to start again and drink more than I did previously. Addiction is a formidable opponent. Maybe you have a healthy relationship with alcohol, or maybe you’re like me and have tried to use it as medicine.
Learning more about the physical and mental health effects of alcohol helped me realize that I needed to make another attempt at cutting it out of my life. However, accepting that alcohol wasn’t doing the job I thought it did was also an important factor. It wasn’t adding an extra pleasure, it was relieving the withdrawal, which gave me the illusion of an added pleasure. The only problem it was solving was one that it created. Sure, the numbing effect and lessening of my inhibitions seemed like a good thing, but ultimately, I would often act foolishly and was not living my best life.
To quit, I had to be open to the fact that I could still have fun without it. If I believe I’m going to have a bad time not drinking, I’ll have a bad time not drinking. Looking back at all the times before my addiction, I could see that I could have fun without it. I know I’m early in the process, but I’ve had more enjoyment and clarity in the past two weeks than I’ve had in a long time. Once I decided to quit and fully realized it was the right choice, my attitude shifted from “I don’t get to drink” to “I don’t have to drink”.
It has taken me a while to get to this point, and I credit having the previous quitting attempts in my pocket and finding a great balance with my medication, which has helped me deal with the feelings I’ve been numbing. Also, the book “The Naked Mind” by Annie Grace was really helpful. I know I’m only two weeks in, but I honestly feel so free I don’t think I’ll return to heavy drinking again. I’m not saying I won’t have a drink from time to time eventually, but at this point, I’m not sure if it would be worth risking becoming addicted again. It’s worth noting at this point, that if you consume a lot of alcohol, you may need to taper down or be monitored by a healthcare professional. The withdrawal from alcohol can cause serious problems, even death. Alcohol is physically addictive.
If you’re struggling, I hope you know you’re not alone and that you can improve your situation. It’s a personal choice to quit, and everyone has to decide for themselves whether they want or don’t want to do it. You may have a perfectly healthy relationship with alcohol. However, I’m so thrilled to be winning the battle against my addiction and to leave the toxic relationship I had with alcohol in the dust. I know it’s early days, but I feel free.
